Horse Humour: Part 2

Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him?

The doctor described his condition as stable.

A young jockey and his stable lass girlfriend make the decision to get married. Everything is planned and the couple intend to honeymoon in Italy for a week. The marriage goes without a hitch and the couple set off on their honeymoon. While checking in the lady behind the desk asks 'We have two suites available for you, would you like the bridal?' 'No thanks says the jockey I'll just hold her ears till she gets the hang of it!' -

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "hey". The horse says "sure, thanks

Where do horses go when they’re sick? The horsepital.

How do you make a small fortune out of horses?
Start with a large fortune

Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?

A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.

A: I put £10 on a horse yesterday who was running against applesB: 

B: What happened?

A: I lost, he got pipped at the post

What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race? Sherbet.

What’s black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

Which side of a horse has more hair?
The outside

"Bob, I can't understand how Bill can have so much luck at cards and be so unlucky with horses."

"That's easy," said Bob. "You can't shuffle the horses."

Gold Cup Preview

The Gold Cup, run over 2 miles 4 furlongs, is the oldest surviving race at Royal Ascot and remains the showpiece event of the five-day meeting. This year’s renewal, due off at 4.20pm on Thursday, June 20, potentially features a maximum of eleven runners, headed by last year’s winner, Stradivarius, who is chasing a seven-timer. However, while John Gosden’s five-year-old is likely to prove a tough nut to crack once again, that fact is reflected by prohibitive odds of 6/5, in a place, and shorter elsewhere.

At the other end of the market, rank outsiders Cypress Creek (40/1), Raymond Tusk (33/1) and Master Of Reality (33/1) look to have plenty to find if they’re to be involved at the business end of such as prestigious contest. However, Thomas Hobson has just 1½ lengths to find with Stradivarius on their running in the Long Distance Cup, over 2 miles, at Ascot last October and, having previously won over course and distance – when sauntering home by 6 lengths in the Ascot Stakes tow seasons ago – looks to have a sporting chance of reversing the form at odds around the 20/1 mark.

Willie Mullins’ nine-year-old was surprisingly turned over, at odds-on, in the Group Two Oleander-Rennen at Hoppengarten on his seasonal debut in May, but still ran respectably on his first start since October. Officially, the son of Halling has 8lb to find with Stradivarius but, with Met Office weather warnings of thunderstorms in place for Tuesday and Wednesday, some easing of the going at Ascot seems highly likely. Soft, or even heavy, going holds no terrors for Thomas Hobson and, while he has yet to win at the highest level, the return to further should do him no harm, either. Win or lose, Thomas Hobson looks outstanding value at the odds on offer and could be ripe for an each-way ‘burgle’.

Selection: Ascot 4.20 Thomas Hobson each-way at 20/1

Royal Ascot

Three centuries of tradition are held to this very day at Royal Ascot. From the top hats and tails dress code to the Royal procession, nothing has been lost throughout the years. Away from all the glitz and glamour is five days racing of the highest standard. The best equine talent from all sides of the globe meets up to do battle over theses mouth-watering five days of top class horse racing action.

With 8 Group ones alone this to many is the best racing meeting of the year.

Betopin.com give you all of the latest betting advice for Royal Ascot.

Royal Ascot Highlights

The Queen Anne Stakes (1 mile) - Group 1

We kick off the Royal Ascot meeting with the first Grade 1 of the week in the Queen Anne Stakes over 1 mile. The betting on The Queen Anne is usually very tight at the top of the market because you have the battle-hardened and talented 4-year-olds going up against last season top 2-year-old's. Who will come out on top this year?

St James Palace (1mile) - Group 1

Solely open to 3-year-old colts, The St James Palace draws in the best 3-year-old colts over 1 mile to establish themselves as a force to be reckoned with for the season ahead. Notable horses that won this race and went on to further glory are the mighty Frankel, Mastercraftsman, Rock Of Gibraltar and many more. This year's renewal is shaping up to be one of the best in recent seasons.

Diamond Jubliee Stakes ( 6 furlong) - Group 1

Run over 6 furlongs, the Diamond Jubilee stakes bring some of the best established 6-furlong specialists from 3 years old and up. Each year you can expect to see some of you old favourites go head to head and some of the new kids on the block trying to make a name for themselves. Some of the winners are household names like Starsbangledbanner, The Tin Man, Australian wonder mare Black Caviar and old favourite Kingsgate Native.

The King Stand (5 furlongs) - Group 1

The King Stand is our first chance to witness all the top sprinters in the world go flat out from the drop of the flag to the finishing line. The race is open to 3 years old and up. So, this is a chance for us to see if the good 2-year-old sprinters of last season have trained on and how they will fare against the big boys of sprinting.

The Coronation Stakes (1 mile) - Group 1

The Group 1 Coronation Stakes is the chance for the top 3-year-old Fillies to come head to head over one mile.

The Coronation Stakes betting is usually a competitive heat due to the size and quality of the field and is often a platform for those who ran in the 1,000 or Irish 1,000 Guineas a chance to progress and lay claim to being named champion three-year-old filly of the season.

Conclusion

Royal Ascot is everything you expect from a social; and betting side of things. At Betopin we have upped our game when it comes to horse racing betting when acquiring the expert services of YouTubes “The Finishing Line”. With both Betopin and The Finishing Line working close together you can be sure that every tip you read is of the highest standard.

Horse Profile: Brown Jack

Introduction

Suitable named for its stunning brown coat, this Irish racehorse was one of the most impressive of its era. In a 3-year spell, it won its most important trophies and maintained a strong career path to become a horse known for having incredible stamina and an indefatigable approach to any race that it took part in. As both a hurdle and a flat racer, this beast managed to win many major races over its career, taking part in a whole host of major events and experiences that most would merely dream of.

A brown gelding, it was taken over by Sir Harrold Wernher and then trained by Aubrey Hastings. Hastings died, though, in 1923, and it was trained by Ivor Anthony instead. As a 4-year-old heading into its first ever race season, Brown Jack won seven of its first ten races, including an impressive win at the Champion Hurdle at Cheltenham.

Career Summary

Eventually, it moved onto flat racing and won several major trophies moving forward. From the Ascot Stakes in 1928 to the Roseberry Memorial Plate in 1931, it managed a long run of successful trophy-laden seasons.

However, it also won an incredible six Queen Alexandria Stakes from 1929-1934. With 18 races won from 55 starts on the flat, it managed to maintain a high level of performance right up to its retirement. While it began to come second in races such as the Goodwood Cup and the Doncaster Cup, it eventually came out of the limelight. 

 

If you head down to Ascot, you can see a bronzed statue waiting in memory of its multiple QA Stakes wins in a row. 

 

Achievements & Highlights

Wins – Champion Hurdle (1928), Queen Alexandra Stakes (1929, 1930, 1931, 1932, 1933, 1934), Goodwood Cup (1930), Doncaster Cup (1930), Chester Cup (1931), Ebor Handicap (1931)

Associations – G.S. Webb, Sir Harold Werhner.